and I was not as sad. Actually excited about the day. I am going out to Cracker Barrel with my sister and then I have a date with my husband.
It occurred to me, that even though my life hurts right now...I still wouldn't want to be anybody else's life that I know...even those people who still have their mother's on this earth with them.
My mom is one of the greatest, and I would rather have had her for 42 years than someone else's mom for 60 or 70.
I have dreams again, like I did when I was younger.
It is weird and crazy, but my mother's death taught me that anything is possible. I would have never imagined my mother dying on March 14th, three hours into my 42nd year. I could not have seen it. It seems unreal that I went to my mother's funeral, and I spoke. It is unreal that I am here, and she is not. These things don't happen to me; these things happen to other people. I am the one who sends condolences, not he one who receives them.
But on the flip of that if I am now other people, and other people travel the world, and other people write books, and other people have successful businesses. Then aren't these things possible.
I never imagined myself still standing after such a tremendous loss. I thought I would be in an insane asylum. BUT by the GRACE of GOD, I am still here. I am still working, breathing, eating, living.
And maybe it is true, that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I won't to live my life so that no matter what happens, I don't feel cheated.